My journey from homesickness to happiness

Life is not easy. Yet we struggle every day; trying to achieve a lightness that will ultimately make us happy.

My simple but big decision to move from India to the UAE started with a random message from a LinkedIn recruiter. Fast forward six months, and I’m sitting in a luxury hotel in Abu Dhabi, delighted by my move.

The first two months were a whirlwind. It always does. New job, new home, new city, new people. I’m so excited – something new has decorated my life.

However, new things are not new to me. Coming from a military family, I have spent most of my life settling, uprooting and re-settling in different states of India, a country so diverse that every state feels like a new one.

While humans tend to resist change, sometimes we get stuck and seek change. I was stuck when this change came, so moving was an easy decision.

My friends tell me they are jealous of me. My Instagram followers shared their desire to do so.

For a while, I even showed off “happy pictures,” so I’m happy with my choice.

Everything is perfect. Everything is correct. What could go wrong?

i’m in a vacuum

It starts with the long holiday of Ramadan. It’s too early to go home, it’s too early to travel elsewhere. (After all, I spend a lot of money on new furniture.)

So, I have nothing planned. Big mistake, in hindsight.

A few days after the holiday, it hit me like an earthquake and woke me up from the bubble.

Loneliness lost its freshness, anxiety got out of control, and before I knew it, I found myself in a vacuum.

All of a sudden, I didn’t buy anything, I didn’t do anything, no one to meet, nowhere to go.

A colleague told me to go out and explore. But the idea of ​​venturing into the unknown (alone) didn’t appeal to me in the slightest.

Maybe I’m not an explorer. Maybe I’m not strong enough. Maybe I can’t be alone.

“Nothing to be ashamed of”

Shocked by how I feel – it’s a new feeling for me and I don’t like it – I turn to the global go-to guide: Google.

I searched for “homesick in a new country”.

Am I missing home? Yes. I was so homesick that I was going to fly to Delhi to breathe the polluted air.

I miss many scents. Brewed chai, fried samosas, incense sticks from a nearby temple, talc, cheap perfume, expensive perfume, sweat, smoke—a mixture of aroma and stench.

I missed sights. Cloudy sky, rickshaw drivers looking for customers, beggars looking for the next savior, scrawny dogs shaking their heads to keep fleas away, chaat-wala chopping onions with dirty hands, cyclists raising a cloud of fine dust in a storm, The walls were splashed with paan (betel nut juice).

I missed Wallace. sabzi-wala, kacchhda-wala, pani-wala, kabadi-wala, kinara-wala, chai-wala, chaat-wala.

I guess what I miss the most is the familiar comfort.

Meanwhile, Google responded to my inquiry. “It’s part of the expat process. For some it lasts a week, for many it’s a month, sometimes up to a year.”

As if sensing my feelings, the article even told me: “Nothing to be ashamed of.”

There are also many tips on how to overcome this feeling.

go back to work

Soon, but not fast enough, I was back at work. While that helped bring back busyness, the weekend brought unease.

I just can’t get rid of that feeling.

I joined Meetup (but didn’t go anywhere), hung out with a friend, met my cousin, and bought some more. However, emptiness cannot be escaped.

I talked to my family about my feelings, but I think they thought it was a good opportunity (not that I didn’t think so) and they couldn’t fully understand my emotions.

So, I fill my spare time with my favorite source of comfort: food. One day I will feel like I have no appetite, another day I will overeat. But dozens of takeaways and a (mostly) sedentary lifestyle mean less than ideal weight gain (we call it the “Abu Dhabi Stone”). This will only increase anxiety.

I often think about wrapping everything up and running away.

But in the midst of all these escapist thoughts, you realize that days have turned into weeks, and weeks into months.

Are you ready?

The truth is, no matter how many times you’ve done it before, nothing prepares you to uproot your life.

No matter how many people warn you, moving to a new country alone is not easy.

Cultures can be similar, jobs are familiar, people are friendly, but at the end of the day, you have to face “you” in an empty home.

I’m not even going to delve into the mental health effects of the pandemic and the hybrid work model that comes with it. It’s a given, most of us have survived the lockdown.

You are just wading through the water.

this will pass

Our environment affects us and primarily shapes us. So a new beginning brings a new you.

Feeling at home again is a difficult and long journey. Have a new self at home.

Ultimately, it’s the hope that keeps you going.

For anyone trying to make this big decision, I’d say it’s not always optimistic, but you can pull the thorns.

This will pass, too, for me. This is the wave you will ride and overcome.

Soon, I’ll be writing about life on the other side.

Beautiful Abu Dhabi, with green parks and soothing water bodies, grows on me. The workplace feels like the home side, and one day you wake up and realize you’re not alone.

PS. I opted for the weekly dinner tiffins. So I’m going to keep calling the delivery guy my tiffin-wala (small steps, friends).

Scroll through the gallery below to see some of the best tourist attractions in Abu Dhabi

Updated: July 8, 2022 at 6:02 pm