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Abubakar: Goat!
Ojo: Mr. Ahaj!
Abubakar: Are you a goat?
Ojo: No Alhaji!
Abubakar: Then why do you respond when I call you goat?
Ojo: It’s a political season Alhaji. Whatever you call me, I will answer. This way my meals are guaranteed! Baba! I cheer oh!
Emeka: Survival politics is a Nigerian game. Promise anything and ignore voters.
Timmy: Not everyone is playing stomach politics. See how Atiku reacts to Wike and Wike. That man is like a mad dog. They shouldn’t mess with him. The Rivers State guys don’t care. He is ready to break the tradition of ’emilokan’!
Big Joe: Hey hey hey hey! Emilokan and other stories would make a good title!
Omokomoko: The Emilokan Republic! We will change the country name when Tinubu takes over. Federal Republic of Emilokan!
Ojo: Or the Republic of Oduduwa!
Abubakar: If Atiku takes over we will be the Fulani Republic!
Emika: Hahahahahaha! That’s a joke. Nnamdi Kanu will not accept.
Banjo: Iboho will not accept it either!
Tyga: If Obi wins, we’ll be the Republic of Biafran!
Ojo: It’s all your bullshit! Only the Federal Republic of Nigeria can and should renegotiate.
Abubakar: Will Boko Haram’s ISWAP accept it?
Timmy: Is this conversation real? Do we really see these anarchists as a factor in Nigeria’s development?
Abubakar: Ignore them at your own risk!
Omokomoko: Everyone calm down. clam down. Let’s get back to the heart of the discussion. Atiku’s choice of running mate and Wike’s reaction. Everything is intertwined, but let’s have a focus. Abubakar, you are right!
Abubakar: Thank you Omokomoko! I mean Atiku made his choice. It should be respected by all parties. period.
Tyga: His personal choice is not and should not be the most important factor. Atiku formed a committee to screen candidates, and most committee members chose Wike over Okowa. Okova’s choice was imposed by Atiku and was undemocratic. period. Learn how the PDP works to bring factions and people together.
Banjo: Yes. Vick came in second, and he should be the logical choice for running mate. If he can get that many delegates, he should be a running mate.
Abubakar: Politics is not like that. Atiku was uncomfortable with Wike as his running mate. He doesn’t want the vice president’s cannon if they win. Saying Okowa is cool, we know Okowa has invested heavily in this project! One has to choose who he can work with. Just imagine if Osinbajo was a typical politician who has now fallen out with Buhari, especially when he sees Buhari’s northernization agenda.
Ojo: The country would be better served with a dynamic vice president under Boo Boo. Not a Mike Pence-style VP! Buhari government is a disaster for the country!
Tega: But Okowa has a lot of baggage! Breaching the Asaba agreement, he cannot win South-South or South-East.
Abubakar: Who said that? You can’t say for sure. His name is Ivani. Igbo people will remember when the pressure comes!
Banjo: Are there politicians without baggage? Even Atiku carries international and domestic luggage. Vic has a lot of baggage.
Timmy: They all have luggage. Okova presides over a split party in Delta over his decision to become emperor, bizarrely electing people to run for office at all levels! He chose the gubernatorial candidate and his running mate alone, ignoring the state’s other stakeholders. That’s luggage. Can he provide Delta State for PDP alone? Check out what the Federal Court did to his Senate candidate in Delta South!
Banjo: That’s not entirely true. Okova is shrewd. He has complete control over the party structure because he has built it over the years. His candidate has a lot of support among other leaders in the party. At least, that’s what we’re told. We should recommend that he form a party with the state’s other leaders to run in the election, especially after the appeals court ruled on the governor’s question. Ibori must not be disrespected by any politician in the state because he actually created all of them! Very important.
Abubakar: As for Wike, is he popular or money speaking for him at conventions? As president, would you like to have a vice president who can go against everyone and anyone?
Tega: Was Atiku popular or did his money buy everyone at the convention? When I remember it was Atiku who stole the power rotation from the South, I would never vote for him. We need to respect the components of the federation. We were told that in 2019 he asked for the support of Southern politicians and pledged to support the President of the South in 2023. But look what he did. No honor. There is no integrity.
Omokomoko: Is there any honor among thieves?
Abubakar: Sorry, you can’t, shouldn’t label all our politicians as thieves! They can be extremely corrupt, as Prime Minister Cameron has described them. But you can’t call them thieves. They are different.
Banjo: Look here, the word “corruption” doesn’t originate in Nigeria. In the 1890s, Liberal MP Jabez Balfour was revealed to be running several fraudulent companies to conceal financial losses. In 1915, the Shell crisis led to the collapse of the HH Asquith Liberal government during the First World War. In 1922, in the Lloyd George scandal, honors were sold in exchange for large campaign contributions. In 1980, Baron Kagan was convicted of fraud, which had been conferred earlier by Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson’s infamous lavender list. In 2010, there was an influence scandal in which an undercover reporter for the Dispatches TV series posed as a political lobbyist, proposing to pay members of parliament to influence policy. Corruption works well in the UK. What about Boris Johnson? Make laws and break them continuously. Let’s not demonize our political class!
Timmy: Simply put, corruption is pervasive.
Banjo: America’s wealth is built on corruption. It was built on the sweat of slave labor, where black men and women were kidnapped and worked without pay until they died. Corruption is everywhere in my people!
Taiga: Are you for real? Defend corruption in Nigeria because it happens elsewhere?
Banjo: I’m not defending corruption. I mean we shouldn’t tar all politicians in the same brush, corruption is global!
Omokomoko: Is there any country in the world that has been stranded by the political class by plundering public funds? We borrowed trillions of naira; what does this country have to show? Instead, we created millionaires and billionaires with stolen funds. The AGF stole billions of dollars. We don’t have anyone else’s record yet.
Ojo: Back to Atiku and Vic. How will the problem be solved? The PDP is about to implode.
Tega: How is our business? Our business is Nigeria.
Ojo: Isn’t the PDP part of Nigeria? Isn’t that how divisions within the First Republic Action Group snowballed into a national fire? Have we recovered from that hell? So, we have to pay attention to the madness of political parties. APCs and PDPs are the same bird, the sooner we stop their excesses at the polls, the better for Nigeria.
Timmy: That’s why we have to vote for Peter Obi. He would change the narrative.
Emeka: How are you sure he’ll make a difference. Please stop campaigning for a sweet talker. This is the same thing Buhari and his gang did in 2015, which let us vote down a government that controls the economy and continue to welcome a sleepy president!
Timmy: Why did you an Igbo have to be the first to fire Peter Obi? As for me, any Igbo who does not support Obi can do so; but any Igbo who opposes Peter Obi, in Chinua Achebe’s words, ‘efulefu!
Banjo: Does everything have to degenerate into racial politics? I’m leaving. goodbye!
Abubakar: Me too! goodbye…
Big Joe: One!
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