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Sharif Safi, 26, is an Afghan activist, Chevening scholar and founder of the Kabul Peace Forum. He also leads Mastooraat, a non-profit organization dedicated to providing opportunities for Afghan youth and women. Under the new Taliban regime, his cooperation with foreign branches put his life at risk, so he felt that he had no choice but to escape. He shared his story.
I never thought I would leave my country like this-only carrying a backpack, tears in my eyes, fear and despair. One bag is not enough to fill all my dreams, dreams that I have been working hard all my life.
I cannot express in words how frustrated and sad I am for my country, my people, my Kabul and myself.
The difficulties I have faced in the past few days will always be with me.
I didn’t expect Kabul to fall so quickly and so unceremoniously, but it did.
This is not only the collapse of Kabul, but also the massacre of our dreams, hopes and desires.
The moment the Taliban entered the capital, I knew that our hopes had been dashed and our freedom had been dashed.
When they regained control of my city, they not only lowered our flag, but also lowered our identity, our hope, and our freedom.
I feel desperate and abandoned.
From a personal point of view, its timing seems particularly harsh to me. While I was waiting for a British visa, I could go to London to study for a master’s degree-I was selected to participate in the Chevening Scholarship Program.
All my excitement about the next chapter of my life turned into despair, and a dream I was so close to fulfilling seemed to be about to disappear completely.
On August 16, 2021, Taliban members patrolled the streets of the Afghan capital Kabul because the Taliban took control of Afghanistan after President Ashraf Ghani fled Afghanistan [Sayed Khodaiberdi Sadat/Anadolu]When the Taliban took control of Kabul on August 15, I hid for the first three days and tried to get myself on the evacuation flight.
I know I am not safe because I have been challenging the Taliban’s narrative through my work, and because I have close ties with foreigners. For at least a year, I have been receiving threats from this organization through social media.
Then the Taliban began to search from house to house.
I decided to go to the airport to take the evacuation flight that I had booked. I am fortunate to have documents from at least three European countries, emergency evacuation letters from Italy and France, because of my previous work and their relationship, as well as the award letter confirming that I was selected for the Chevening Scholarship Program in the United Kingdom.
I made my first attempt on August 18.
I arrived at the gate of the airport at 7pm, and there were thousands of people waiting to arrive at the checkpoint.
The Taliban beat people in front of the seemingly endless queue to prevent others from joining.
They also shot into the air every minute to disperse the crowd, which terrified some women and children, and they could be heard screaming and crying.
This is a terrible scene, and despair is obvious.
When Safi arrived at the airport, he could see thousands of people queuing, some of them had already spent the night at the door [Photo courtesy of Sharif Safi]I try to stay calm and wait to approach the Taliban checkpoint, which will take me to the gate of the Baron Hotel near the Kabul military airport.
A Taliban militant stopped me, put his AK47 on my head, and told me to go back, otherwise he would shoot me in the head.
I didn’t give him any excuses to carry out his threats, so I turned around and went home after an hour’s journey. On my way back, I chose a different route to avoid some Taliban checkpoints.
I returned home, but I am not ready to give up, I can’t give up, I know I must seize the opportunity.
So after resting for an hour, I went to the airport again. I arrived there at five in the morning, this time at a different door, holding my papers in my hand.
My name is on the list of people who have the required paperwork and are allowed to pass.
On this door, you can only enter by shouting their names on a loudspeaker in the camp.
Upon hearing your name, you will approach the door, show your documents, and they will open the door for you after verifying your documents.
I waited in that queue for 48 hours, but no one ever called my name, maybe I was not far in the front of the queue.
But I found myself in a queue where people were beaten up by pipes. This is how the Taliban prevented people from rushing through the gates.
There are still traces of the beating on my right hand.
Despite two failed attempts to pass the security checkpoint and the evacuation flight, Safi is determined not to give up [Photo courtesy of Sharif Safi]By this time, I hadn’t closed my eyes for nearly 60 hours-my whole body began to tremble and my brain stopped working.
I returned home with a heavy heart. It seems impossible to enter the airport and evacuate the flight. But I am not going to give up.
After a short break, I returned to the airport in the early morning of August 21. This time I chose another gate, the monastery gate.
At this moment, for me, this is a familiar scene, crowded with thousands of people in line, and some have already spent the night at the door.
I want to know if I will be lucky for the third time.
It took me 10 hours to arrive at the checkpoint. The security guard checked my documents and let me in at around 1pm.
I was escorted by French soldiers to the camp at the Kabul military airport along with other Afghans who wanted to evacuate to France.
We all waited there until midnight, and then boarded a French military plane. We first fly to Abu Dhabi and then to Paris.
Safi and other Afghans wishing to evacuate to France were escorted by French soldiers to the camp at the Kabul military airport. [Photo courtesy of Sharif Safi]I was sobbing throughout the journey—for what was about to happen and what was lost in Afghanistan.
When the plane landed in Paris on August 24, my mood was mixed. I feel relieved for my safety, but worry that my relatives are still trapped in Afghanistan.
My emotions are under control, and I burst into tears.
The tears may have stopped now, but the pain of losing so much and so quickly will always be a part of me. I will keep it in my heart for the rest of my life.
I want to know if I can overcome the trauma.
The thoughts of my family and friends still hang in my mind, who continue to live in the turmoil of Afghanistan, desperately trying to get out.
I feel so traumatized and exhausted that I cannot sleep, drink, or eat.
I live a good life in Kabul, I am very satisfied with my job, my family, my home-but I have to leave everything behind to escape, lest the Taliban hunt me down.
Leaving home while adding fuel to the fire is the most painful feeling. Leaving what belongs to you is the worst feeling.
The terrible scene I saw at Kabul Airport will accompany me for the rest of my life-it is a nightmare that I don’t want to relive. It revealed to me the level of fear and despair that Afghans are now feeling when the Taliban rule the country.
I will never forget the pain and despair I saw in the eyes of the people.
I was fortunate to continue my life, but millions of people did not. I hope to go to London as soon as possible to start my Chevening trip.
I want to go home and serve my country and my people-but never under the white flag.
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