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I’m getting ready to go on my first girls trip this week because… well, I don’t really remember. It’s been so long. Even after the dreaded Hurricane Ian, we would still arrive in Miami and drive to Key West, where I was born despite my many formative years in Vermont.
Even my plans brought me back to my childhood taste. From wannabe KFC’s fried chicken and mashed potatoes called “Chicken Unlimited,” Pizza Hut’s pizza and salad bar, and my all-time favorite way to cool off — a chocolate malt shake with Breyer ice cream.
Our childhood supports our upbringing experiences, often related to tastes, restaurants, preferences, the foods that define who we are, and the habits that come with them. As parents, we try to balance teaching our kids what to eat and how to do it, rather than trying to control every little decision they make or every bite of food that goes into their mouths.
I was known to be the same weight on my wedding day as I was when I was in Mr Meeks’ 4th grade class at Newfarne Elementary. As parents, it’s easy for us to project our experiences onto our children because we try to prevent them from having the same experience from negatively impressing us. As parents, we’re going well, and it’s been harder than I thought. We feel their feelings.
As adults, we respond to deprivation in the same way that our children do. Take it away, and we’re toddlers again, wanting and craving and desperate just to get something we tell ourselves we can’t have. (Perhaps our brains are throwing tantrums and are now producing cravings instead of tears). The same goes for children. Doing my best to keep processed foods off the table, so to speak, seems to do more harm than good. Inevitably, fasting (such as goldfish) shows up at parties, and suddenly it’s even more coveted than cake.
I could see Madeleine drooling at the corners of her mouth as she tuned everything and everyone else, including the party entertainment, to just focus on the brightly colored packaging beckoning for her. She looked at me pleadingly, and I nodded to her, thinking that if I said no as usual, I might do more harm than good.
She jumped to a pile of individually wrapped goldfish parcels and carefully picked out a regular pouch, knowing that the rainbow variety might be too much for her old mom. (She was right.) She opened the bag, took a breath of anticipation, reached into the bag, brought a few to her mouth, and bit down eagerly. Once she chewed and swallowed, she looked at me disappointed. “No taste.” She shrugged in disappointment, but as if programmed to continue eating (good job, big food), she reached in again, sending more fish food into her mouth.
I realized, and then, I did it! I instigated Big Food to program her as WANT. Making us want something is a big part of the war on the processed food industry. Their food is “very tasty” thanks to additives like maltodextrin, which physically keep us coming back for more. They’re convenient and delicious, but we want them too. Saying “no” to goldfish makes her want them more: forbidden fruit, or in this case, cookies.
Nourish children
Pediatric nutritionist Jill Castle, MS, RDN, is the founder of The Nourished Child, a resource library for parents to learn how to have healthy children. Jill discusses ways to guide our kids to make good food choices without being too controlling in the process. She points out that parents can sponsor their children’s emotional eating disorders by over-regulating what they eat or focusing too much on the numbers on the scale.
It’s not just about the food, Gill said. We can focus on a wider range of things, like helping our children manage their stress and emotions. Eating behaviors are often linked to emotions in all of us. For stability, Gill recommends a balance of 90% healthy foods and 10% “fun” foods. (She noted that these percentages may vary by household.)
“When we just focus on what we feed our kids and how much we feed them,” explains Gill, “we lose focus on other contributors to a child’s physical and emotional health.” Gill emphasizes sleep’s impact on a child’s overall health importance. She stressed the importance of not only getting the right number of hours, but also providing our children with quality sleep.
try new snacks
As parents, most of us often find ourselves in barter mode. Whether it’s asking for an extra bite of peas at dinner, or choosing cupcakes with chocolate frosting over green icing (me), we often find ourselves negotiating with our kids about their dietary choices.
A study found that children whose parents rewarded food at an early age were more likely to be emotional eaters by age 5 to 7. When we use food to motivate children to try new foods, the results are often not what we want. They may try new foods at first, but soon the reward becomes more important than trying new things. The new foods they’re forced to try can quickly go unnoticed. However, the food used as a reward was all but forgotten.
Another study showed that using non-food rewards to get kids to try new foods inhibits the development of their innate drive and their own motivation to try new foods. I used to barter with my daughter and tell her that if she doesn’t like anything she’s trying, she can spit it out. The moment of joy came when she nominated my hand as the container in this proposal. I think she actually pretended not to like some of the foods she tried so that she could store the remnants of it in the palm of my hand.
My mom’s negotiation at the aforementioned Pizza Hut was to make me belly (pun intended) to the salad bar. My plate is full of cheese, sunflower seeds and bacon bits. She sometimes asks for a lettuce leaf everywhere, but usually, I don’t comply with what I think is unreasonable. My mom thought it would promote a good salad diet (after 35 lbs, she proved right).
family snacks
For that matter, many of us have moved away from family meal times or even specific meal times. Research shows that sitting together as a family during mealtimes is associated with improved literacy and vocabulary, as well as reduced depression and drug use in younger participants. Eating with family members is also associated with better grades and even better physical health. In this day and age, with physical activity and work schedules, dining together may seem impossible, but even sitting with a family member over a meal has proven to be effective in using these abilities.
Chicken Salad
(This dish has everyone craving more mushrooms – something my kids don’t usually eat.)
raw material
1 pound chicken thighs
salt (in moderation)
pepper powder)
½ teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 teaspoon avocado oil
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1½ tablespoons white flour
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1½ cups chicken stock
2 tablespoons butter
6 ounces cremini mushrooms (about 8)
method
Season chicken with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and paprika. Let stand at room temperature for 20 minutes.
In a large pot or Dutch oven, add avocado oil.
Brown chicken, cook 4 minutes per side.
Transfer chicken to a bowl and set aside.
In the same pot, melt 1½ tablespoons butter and add onion.
Saute for about 3 minutes before adding the garlic. Cook for another five minutes.
Add the flour and mix well. Cook for a minute or so.
Add the mustard and sauté another minute.
Add ½ cup chicken stock and stir to combine.
Add the remaining chicken broth, followed by the chicken.
Cover and simmer for an hour.
Melt butter in a wok just before serving.
Saute mushrooms with salt and pepper and add to pot.
Remove top and simmer for another 15 minutes or until sauce thickens.
Serving Suggestions – Serve over quinoa and enjoy!
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