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As a child coach for several years, I have observed that parents’ concerns about their children are mainly twofold.
When our children returned to school, many of them strode with backpacks for the first time in nearly 17 months, and my love was with them.
What a chaotic and adaptive period for them!
So let me first give our children the honor they deserve because they overcome things that even we adults find unbearable.
Despite the intermittent start, the grueling online meetings and all the frustrations that followed, they still prevailed. I can’t think of a word to appreciate their resilience. I hope this article serves as a reference to the commendable way they swim across the ocean currents and get here.
As a child coach for several years, I have observed that parents’ concerns about their children are mainly twofold. One is related to grades and career, and the other is related to a frivolous attitude, with a clear lack of enthusiasm and serious interest in “important things.”
It is true that the world has changed many times since we were in school, but every time I see my parents pay too much attention to the future of their children, I will think back to the past. Have my parents really experienced such worries? Are they worried that I may not be able to advance in the dog-eating world? Not at all in my memory. If they did it in secret, they would do a good job of ensuring that it would not pass on to me. This may explain the prosperous way of self-growth of my ability, as if being guided by the power of nature to where I belong now.
However, extended discussions on this topic have produced some results. Most parents now assert that they will not let their children be coerced. They are not clear about their worries now, and the pressure of the children seems to have become hidden. Pay attention to this, become concealed, not disappear.
Our children still feel that they are fighting annoying battles, and we often see how the weakest children crumble and collapse like crackers. Others continue, unhappily, continue to please their parents and enjoy the temptations they offer.
This is real. It’s time for us to give up sneaky ways to force them to accomplish things that fit our definition of success in life.
On the other hand, it is the situation of parents, who emphasize the lack of originality and motivation of their children. I look back at my past again, remembering how listless I was when I was a teenager. Complete lack of conventions, marked by a hasty way of doing things. My behavior is characterized by indifference, and there are no future ideas in my plan. Wasn’t those years of growing up naturally arranged like this? When our children are struggling to find changes that often confuse and frustrate them, when they are unable to process their thoughts and express their thoughts appropriately, we describe them as “irresponsible” and “sloppy” reasons How old is it?
We also went through the vulnerable stage, when we were hardly aware of it. As we transitioned to adulthood, we learned from our experiments and alternately appeared trump cards. We have adjusted our approach to meet the needs of the changing times, and we have become “responsible people” as we define ourselves.
So will our children.
Relatedly, most of the objectionable things we find in it are also part of our nature. It’s just that, as adults, we are free to ignore our behavior, and in their case, we will immediately raise red flags.
Speaking of this, I think of Gibran’s poignant words. “Your children are not your children. They are the children of life’s desire for themselves.
Let life take them in and lead them through the tortuous road. As their guardians, our duty is to help them distinguish good from bad, inculcate kindness and love, teach the value of hard work, and last but not least, help them know what will help or hurt them. These are the basic principles of life, and instilling these basic principles should be our top priority.
When they return to another academic conference, let us—as parents, teachers, and guardians—give them the freedom to be themselves, the opportunity to explore life, and the space for natural blooming. Responsibility, career, future-these will all be implemented over time. Our constant fuss about them is just a waste of energy.
Asha Iyer Kumar is a Dubai writer, children’s life writing coach, youth motivational speaker and founder of iBloom, FZE.You can contact her at ibloom@ashaiyerkumar.com
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