[ad_1]
How do my siblings and I avoid conflict when sharing the care of our father with Alzheimer’s disease?
Maintaining open communication between siblings is critical to providing care for parents with Alzheimer’s disease. As your dad becomes more and more dependent on the care and support you all provide, the amount of conflict is likely to increase. As the disease progresses and each sibling becomes involved in his care, sibling rivalry can reignite, and friction can sometimes tear families apart.
It is very helpful to have a care plan for your dad. Gather your siblings for a family meeting to exchange ideas and share responsibilities and tasks. There should be a lot of frank and open discussion to determine everyone’s obligations and roles, as well as future plans to be made while in your father’s care. For example, each sibling has something to offer that he/she is able to do. Some may have special skills or talents in areas such as finance, home repair, nursing, etc., so roles can be easily mapped out. Often, in discordant siblings, family meetings can be arranged by a social worker, mediator, or counselor who works with the sibling to develop a mutually agreed plan of care. They can find and establish a middle ground between siblings, creating a positive consensus among them.
Disputes between siblings over care of a parent or parents are often related to injustice and inheritance. A sibling may express a sense of injustice because he/she bears most of the burden of caring for a parent. Because of the distance, sometimes, the siblings who live further away are somewhat “shirked” in terms of caregiving, so the closest siblings take caregiving responsibilities. Conflict can arise when a care sibling asks for help from other siblings and they choose to ignore or criticize the way the care sibling cares for the parent. For those siblings who take on day-to-day caregiving roles, this can be a source of hurt and resentment. Likewise, communication plays a key role in helping your father’s care run smoothly.
When money is in the mix, siblings often clash over power and control. Money can fuel conflict when one or more siblings feel overburdened with caregiving. Siblings who care for children may feel they deserve more of an inheritance because they share more of the caregiving burden. Or, conflict can arise when one sibling controls the finances while the other sibling feels too much is being spent on caring for the parents. Your father’s financial situation should be discussed openly at a family meeting, and you and your siblings can make arrangements for spending patterns that meet your father’s wishes in his care plan and agree to name someone to be in charge of the finances.
Your dad’s journey with Alzheimer’s disease can be long and difficult, and caring can be stressful in itself without family conflict and strife. Ultimately, you and your siblings should realize that it’s all up to your dad and his care and quality of life, so everyone should make an effort to let go of any anger and/or long-standing resentment. If there are uncooperative siblings, move on with acceptance and understanding so that your dad gets the best of care without feeling like he is the source of conflict in the family.
Questions about Alzheimer’s disease or related disorders can be sent to Dana Territo, author of What My Grandchildren Taught Me About Alzheimer’s Disease at thememorywhisperer@gmail.com.
[ad_2]
Source link